How do we restore a brother or sister who has fallen into sin? Let’s say the truth, we avoid talking about it or we smooth over it because no one likes confrontation. However instead of gossiping about it or doing nothing, love demands that we confront because we care. But, we must be careful not to employ a wrong approach that could further break relationships rather than heal them. One wrong approach is to be legalistic, judgmental and blast people with the law they should be obeying. That was what I did with someone I was very close with, after finding out he got married to another woman. This fellow and I had also attended the same Pentecostal church back in Nigeria. Each time I called him after discovering I would refer to what he did wrong. Once, he told me that at least he didn’t divorce his wife and he mentioned the case of David who had more than one wife. Although I didn’t argue with him, I called him later; few months ago and I also referred to what he did it wrong. This time he complained bitterly about my critical comments. I realized then that I was using a wrong approach. The right thing to do is to build him up by sharing, communicating, caring and praying for his restoration. Apostle Paul wrote about this right approach in Galatians 6:1 – “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently…” It doesn’t matter how messy the sin is, this is the approach we should use.
